


this is not goodbye

by LuciferCaelestis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pre-Kerberos Mission, Sheith Secret Santa 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 02:18:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferCaelestis/pseuds/LuciferCaelestis
Summary: Shiro is leaving for the Kerberos mission soon and Keith doesn't know how to deal with that.“Keith.”He didn’t adjust his position against the railings, but a reluctant smile crossed his face anyway.The footsteps coming his way were familiar, but even so he tensed for a moment at the approach and tensed further when he felt the warmth of another body settling in next to him.“Shiro,” he replied eventually, losing the tension that had built up in his body.





	this is not goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> this is my gift to meowlettee on [twitter](https://twitter.com/meowlettee)/[tumblr](http://meowlettee.tumblr.com) for the Sheith Secret Santa 2017. i'm so sorry for taking so long, i hope you like the fic.
> 
> my prompt was pre-kerberos sheith, with Shiro showing Keith around the launch site and reassuring him that he'll be back soon.
> 
> title comes from the song 'this is not goodbye' by sidewalk prophets. it really set the mood for the fic, i'd recommend listening to it for more pre-kerb sheith feels.
> 
> beta'd by [MiidiocreShards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiidiocreShards/pseuds/MiidiocreShards), thanks so much for your help!!!

“Keith.”

He didn’t adjust his position against the railings, but a reluctant smile crossed his face anyway. 

The footsteps coming his way were familiar, but even so he tensed for a moment at the approach and tensed further when he felt the warmth of another body settling in next to him.

“Shiro,” he replied eventually, losing the tension that had built up in his body.

Keith leaned further against the railings, elbows folded together as he waited for Shiro to start talking but Shiro made no move to fill the silence, seeming aware of Keith’s pensive mood.

After finishing his last class, he’d immediately ventured to his one of his usual haunts close to the edge of the Garrison rooftop, disregarding the sign marking it off-limits to cadets. Of course, Shiro seemed to have no trouble finding him anyway.

They just stood there silently for a while, watching the hustle and bustle of Garrison life below them. It was one of his favourite things about Shiro, the way he always seemed to know when to push and when to wait. This particular custom of theirs would end when Shiro was gone, but he hoped that the silence would stretch on just a little longer this time. 

“It’s hard to believe that by this time next week, I’ll be drifting in space on the way to the edge of the solar system,” Shiro said, finally breaking the spell between them.

“No, it isn’t. You were always meant for this, Shiro. You were always gonna be great,” Keith stated, but there was a sadness in his voice that he couldn’t hide. _I just wish I could be there with you, this time._

“You are too,” Shiro countered firmly. “Besides, by the time I come back, you’ll have graduated and broken all my records, and–” he exhaled,”–and I’ll need a co-pilot?”

Keith froze. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith could feel Shiro studying him intently. Shiro was probably worried about his answer, but he couldn’t find the words to reassure him. 

How did he tell Shiro that no one had ever believed in him like Shiro did, that no one had ever asked for his future or even wanted it, that he’d never tried to tie it to someone else’s because he was sure they would leave soon anyway?

After taking a deep breath, he managed to find a response. _“I would be honoured.”_

It was the truth. There was no part of him that didn’t long for that, to fly through the stars with Shiro, to be partners as they explored space. It was everything he could have ever asked for.

Shiro’s shoulders relaxed and a smile bloomed on his face, happy and unrestrained. It had been a while since Keith had seen him smile like that.

“I’ll miss this,” Keith admitted freely. “I’ll miss _you_ ,” he added, his voice growing quieter at the end.

“I’ll miss you too,” Shiro replied, his face turning soft and wistful.

When he met Shiro’s eyes, everything in him burned at the feeling that was rising in his chest.

Shiro cleared his throat and looked away first, waving around two cards in his hand. “C’mon, I’m not gone yet and I’ve gotten us special permission to visit the launch site.” His voice grew quieter. “We’re going into pre-launch quarantine soon, and I wanted to see you before I go.”

Keith’s heart skipped a beat. Shiro didn’t have much in the way of family. It was something they’d bonded over, how alone they were. But still, the knowledge that he was the only person Shiro wanted to see on his last day on Earth sent him reeling like a punch to the gut.

Being with Shiro was like that, he found.

As they made their way towards the launch site, in the future, Keith wouldn’t be able to recall anything that happened around them. All he would be able to remember was Shiro’s grip on his shoulder, the sound of Shiro’s laughter and the glint of Shiro’s dog tags where they peeked out from his uniform.

When they finally arrived, Shiro guided Keith towards the ship, holding his shoulder in a comforting grip as they came to a stop.

The sight of the ship Shiro would be piloting from up close took his breath away. The magnificent structure towered over him, and a surge of longing rose in his chest. 

_This_ was what he was at the garrison for, what _Shiro_ was at the garrison for. This was their dreams made real, and he was glad, so glad, that Shiro got this chance. There was no one more deserving than Shiro anyway.

Shiro allowed him to look his fill, well aware of Keith’s interest in spacecraft. He also pointed out certain aspects of the ship and informing him of the process he’d be going through, only holding back whatever parts were classified.

Running his eyes all over the ship, he can already imagine Shiro piloting it. But then, there were so many things that could go wrong. No matter how advanced humanity had gotten over the years, it would still take 5 months to get to Kerberos, a month for them to collect the samples and another 5 months to get back to Earth.

And something in him quivered at the thought of being alone again, after letting Shiro in.

“Don’t worry, Keith,” Shiro’s voice interrupted his musings. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I know, just– it’s gonna kill me when you’re away, you know?” 

Shiro’s eyes widened at the declaration, but then his face softened and he came even closer to Keith.

“I’m gonna miss you up there. I’ll be looking for you in every star,” Shiro said.

Keith’s eyes widened at that. 

When Shiro grasped his hand and used it to pull him in for a hug, his eyes closed automatically, and he wished that Shiro’s face would be burned into the back of his eyelids.

Their hands were trapped almost awkwardly between their bodies, but Keith didn’t care. He just buried his face in the crook of Shiro’s neck and let the weight of Shiro’s hand on his back anchor him to this moment.

For a moment, he brought Shiro in even closer, a selfish wish to stay in that moment forever. However, reality had to kick in sooner or later. He loosened his grip on Shiro and moved back, until only their hands were still connected. He wished that for once he wasn’t wearing his ever-present gloves, wished that he could feel Shiro’s hand on his bare skin.

Shiro was the first to pull away, putting some distance between them. Keith reluctantly let him go, barely able to keep himself from pulling Shiro back in.

It was funny how after a lifetime of pushing people away, for the first time in his life, Keith just wanted to stay close to someone instead.

He swiped at Shiro’s dog tags, using them to pull Shiro down and closer. Shiro’s face was understandably confused, especially as he kept tugging on them, but then he understood and bowed his head so Keith could take them off him.

Shiro’s understanding smile had him burning on the inside. He gripped the dog tags in his hand tightly, and he could feel the edges digging into his palm. _Shirogane Takashi_ , a mark branding his skin, like how Shiro himself had changed his life.

“This is not goodbye, okay? You have to come back for these, you promise?” he said fiercely, dangling them from his hand and they clinked together as his hand shook slightly. _You have to come back for me._

Shiro’s smile turned into something fond and private, a smile Keith had never seen directed at anyone else, and he had to close his eyes for fear of crying. 

Shiro grasped his hand gently, uncurling it from the unforgiving fist it had been before unwinding the chain from Keith’s wrist, presumably to take it back. His eyes flew open when he felt the chain fall around his neck instead.

“I promise. Keep them safe for me, okay?” Shiro said, and his eyes said, _but keep yourself safe for me too._

He couldn’t help the way he pulled Shiro in for one last desperate hug. Before, he’d kept his composure, his control, but he was unravelling. 

This time, he paid no attention to keeping any distance between their bodies, he just wanted to be as close as he could possibly be to Shiro, and the way he held him reflected that.

His hands tightened around Shiro’s back, and he could feel Shiro’s arms embracing him as well. He buried his head in Shiro’s shoulder again, this time to ward off the tears, and Shiro’s arm moved from his hip to hold his head, not a forceful weight, just supporting him in case he needed it.

He squeezed Shiro one more time before releasing him. It was then that they both noticed that the sky had darkened considerably, taking on an orange and blue-ish hue. It was time for Shiro to leave.

“I’ll be back soon,” Shiro said, giving him one last smile. 

Keith smiled back. “I’ll be waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on [tumblr](http://lucifercaelestis.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/LuciferCael) about sheith feels


End file.
